Answering your Cell Phone in the Restroom: BAD MANNERZ!

In this helpful educational short, we see our protagonist faced with an embarrassing moment having to contend with a ringing cell phone when otherwise indisposed. Using poor judgment, he answers the phone -- calling attention to himself. Luckily, he keeps the call short and his caller does not hear any flushing or other unfortunate sounds.

Kudos for stall-mate #2 (I call him that because he entered the restroom second and not because of anything else). Stall-mate #2 discreetly returns our protagonist's cell phone when it finds its way into #2's personal space.

RULEZ:

* Never talk on a cell phone in a public (or private, for that matter) restroom.

* If your cell phone rings in a public restroom, turn off the ringer and return to your business at hand.

* If someone else's belongings find their way into your stall, discreetly return the belongings to the originator's personal space.

Good Table Manners: A Cornet Film Classic

Good table manners are the core of a pleasant eating experience. This helpful video from 1951 is timeless. Sure the used car salesman voice and matching Christmas sweaters call into question the veracity of the speaker, but take his advice. It's as American as McDonald's Baked Apple Pie.

MANNERZ GUY APPROVED!

Piggy Parking: NOT APPROVED!

Mannerz Guy has experienced one of the unfortunate acts of inconsideration that happens in Los Angeles -- Piggy Parking. That's when the person who is doing the parking puts their own interests ahead of others.

It seems that when Mannerz Guy arrived home he found his driveway blocked by a purple Honda Civic -- Mannerz Guy can hear your head wheels turning wondering exactly what kind of person would drive a purple Honda Civic? Well, MG cannot tell you, nor will he tell you that the license plate number is 6GKJ067.

It happens in Mannerz Guy's 1920's neighborhood with its narrow streets and narrower driveways. When someone such as Mr. Purple Honda Civic decides to overlap the driveway, it renders the driveway unusable. That is, of course, if one wishes to avoid hitting the car in question. If Mannerz Guy was driving a purple Honda Civic with part of the front fender torn off (such as Mr. Purple Honda Civic), then he may too drive recklessly.

Now, Mannerz Guy was understandably peeved, but he did not react in anger -- unless this blog post counts. He wrote a note asking for care and consideration in the future and that the residents of his house were unable to utilize the parking space. He suggested that they could move the car forward two feet and all would be right as rain.

So here is a simple rule when parking:

* When parking, take care that your automobile does not block the entry or egress of another vehicle.

This simple rule applies not only to the above situation, but many other parking situations both on and off the street. Mannerz Guy is amazed how many people will park in another's spot, park in two spots, park in the handicapped spot without a placard, or simply double parking... and when confronted they all seem to have the same excuse: "I was just going to be a few minutes."

Mannerz Guy has now endured hours of Mr. Purple Honda Civic. If it is still there when morning comes, Mannerz Guy may have to introduce him to his friend, Mr. Tow Truck.

Voicemail Messages

Now Mannerz Guy knows that many of you are aversive to exercising your vocal chords any more than you have to, especially when you have perfectly good thumbs to communicate your idle thoughts without the threat of an immediate emotional response. But, for those of you who still use the cell phone (and, heaven forbid, a land line... look it up) to call, here is one rule when leaving a message:

1. When leaving a voicemail message, please leave your call-back number (even if you believe the other person has it).

Why? Because Mannerz Guy thinks it is a good idea to remove barriers to communication. One barrier is having to rifle through an electronic address book (the new iPhone software had better have an update for their phone book that slows down anyone with more than 100 contacts.. but Mannerz Guy digresses). Leave it once for familiar acquaintances, leave it twice for clarity if the other person is a business contact or new acquaintance.

This is especially important if you have one of those numbers that do not show up on Caller ID. Mannerz Guy won't say who you are, but one wonders why you do not wish to show your number when calling the number of another. Mannerz Guy strongly suspects you may be having more fun than your partner knows about. But, again with the digressions! So, even if you do have a number that shows on Caller ID, leave your number one time for good measure as the person received the messages may be picking them up from another location.

Now, I know that all of you BFF's are rolling your eyes and giving attitude to the Mannerz Guy site because there are some people you call so much that they know your number by heart. Obviously, different rules apply for the overly-familiar. Mannerz Guy doesn't leave his number for his mother or those with whom he shares his bed. But then, these are also the same people with whom you may complain about your intestinal issues and your doubts about your self-worth. Again, different rules apply for the overly-familiar.

Business meetings and Blackberries don't mix

Heaven knows, Mannerz Guy has loved his smart phones since his Samsung i330. He also knows the pleasure of being able to check his emails for updates... and, well, just dates. But, the smartphone craze has lead to some of the rudest interpersonal behavior by some of the nicest people.

Since Mannerz Guy could spend pages just explaining the obvious, such as never using your phone (including text, email, picture taking, etc.) in a movie theater or, especially live theater, he will not.

He will give only one rule:

1. When someone or something (such as a movie, play, conversation, or oddly enough, YOUR JOB) is supposed to have your attention, give all of your attention to that person or thing.

Now Mannerz Guy knows you are breaking into a cold sweat thinking about going for entire hours (or twos) without electronic contact. He knows they call them "Crackberries" for a reason. And, just so you don't think I am making this up because no one has YET complained about your unseemly behavior, check out this article: Bad e-manners can cost you.

I am certain I will be spending oodles of time explaining the ins and outs of this, but it all goes back to that one simple rule. If you do, people will think you are the most wonderful and considerate person. Mannerz Guy is quite sure you will get job promotions, sex, and the seemingly unattainable approval of your mother. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make...

Lakers Riot: NOT APPROVED!

SEE LA TIMES ARTICLE

Needless to say, Mannerz Guy does not approve. Does anyone?
Nonetheless, this is how some people chose to celebrate the National Championship of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Rules for Reveling -- what not to do:

1. Never vandalize, even if you are happy.
2. Never loot, even if you are celebrating.
3. Never riot, even if you are thrilled.

Rules for Reveling -- what to do:

1. Buy a round of drinks for the house.
2. Smile, sing, jump up and down, and share your joy with others.
3. If vandalism, looting, and rioting are in your blood, stick to your own legal property (that way YOU can clean up the mess).

Now Mannerz Guy realizes the irony of his earlier post about the politeness of the Queer peeps on L.A. Pride (the exact same day as the Lakers Riot). Also that L.A. Pride this year marked the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York City. But, remember, the situation was a tad different. Rather than celebrating the winning of an annual contest by a sports team, these bar patrons were resisting harassment (including arrest) by law enforcement that had become a nearly nightly occurrence at local gay bars simply because they were assumed to be gay. This resulted in a civil rights revolt for the gay community. For more info, check this out on the Wiki: Stonewall Inn Riots.

Arranging a Buffet

Mannerz Guy believes the word "HOST" is a combination of the words "Whore" (HO) and "Saint" (ST).

Yo go, June bug!

Lunchroom Manners with The Original Mr. Bungle (Created in 1960, but timeless)

Mannerz Guy is impressed that 49 years ago, children were quite polite and thoughtful. He wonders how many "Mr. Bungles" are in the Los Angeles Unified School System. He guesses there may be more than one or two.

A little piece of trivia: the actor who plays "Phil" in the video became a rather infamous gay porn director who also sold baked goods to local coffee shops. Mannerz Guy suspects that the cake in the film was the start of something special.... that and noticing "Freddy."

Phone Manners

Mannerz Guy likes this lady. She reminds him of Toni Tennille of "The Captain and Tennille" fame. Plus, Mannerz Guy's home phone and Cedars Sinai surgery scheduling line are just similar enough that he gets calls from would-be patients with misshapen noses with cosmetic surgery appointments in jeopardy.

When Mannerz Guy lived in Houston and would receive pizza order calls, he got so tired that he started just taking the orders and telling people that he only had mushrooms and anchovies for topping and that his 82 year old grandmother will be walking the pizza over, so expect delivery in about 2-3 hours. Magically, the phone calls stopped.

Manners and Etiquette (The Little Mermaid)

Ariel tells it all for you (and me).

Hey, it's easy to be a queen, but being a princess is serious business.

Do Gay People Have Good Mannerz?

If you are like Mannerz Guy, you sometimes wonder why sometimes entire groups appear to be obnoxious and boorish and other groups are as polite as punch (Mannerz Guy knows that punch just sits there waiting to be drank so is rarely "polite" but it was all that came to mind).

Mannerz Guy -- a gay man himself -- attended the Gay Pride parade in West Hollywood. Crowded, hot, and with a paucity of available facilities... the situation was one that could create a callous and rude public. But this was not the case. Mannerz Guy was none too surprised when he observed gay peeps being among the most thoughtful and considerate when attending group events.

They put their trash in cans, step to the side when you ask to pass, and are generally congenial when interacting with strangers. One of the special things Mannerz Guy noticed was that when he took pictures, people would either stop or duck from the sightline so that he could get pictures of floats and fairies (as it were). But his favorite thing is that when pressed shoulder to shoulder, both gay women and men are mindful of those around them and rarely push or shove. If, heaven forbid, one of them does transgress in some way (such as stepping on one's foot as happened to Mannerz Guy today), an apology quickly follows.

Needless to say, Mannerz Guy is impressed with his peeps when they are in crowds.

Mannerz Guy's Kinda Place...

Facebook and Divorce

Facebook and Divorce

Great article, but here is the bottom-line:


Five no-nos divorcing couples
1. Showing Off -- Pics and bragging are not only in bad taste, but they are also show poor judgment -- especially when your spouse's divorce lawyer gets wind of it.
2. Letting It All Hang Out -- Take down the crazy party pics. Holding up a Margarita when you have droopy eyes doesn't exactly scream "responsible parent."
3. Getting Tagged -- Tagging means someone identifies you in a photo. The photo will appear in your profile. Check often because you may be in a most unflattering pose.
4. Venting -- Don't talk smack about people who can influence your future: the judges, the lawyers, and especially your spouse. They may not be as forgiving when you haven't demonstrated that quality. And, by the way, never talk badly about your spouse in front of your children. It's abusive to put the children in the middle of your venomous games.
5. Cutting Off Everyone at Once -- Don't "defriend" in-laws or your ex's friends. People need time to adjust. Let them linger for 3-6 months, then go for it. But if they are making offensive posts or sending nasty messages -- have at it.

Workout Weirdo

So I spend a lot of time at the gym, so it's natural that I am going have something to say about the goings-on one the work-out floor. AND, since this is Gay Pride Weekend here in L.A.... Every desperate Mary is trying to get that last pump before the party. But come on guys!

How many weights do you need?! There were several guys with three sets of dumbbells. THREE!

O.K., so now this is sounding like a rant! Here be the rules:

1. Don't bogart weights at the gym --Use what you have, put the rest away.

And, while I'm at it, here is some other random gym etiquette:

2. Don't "reserve" equipment by putting your towel on it and leaving. Do what you need to do and come back later.
3. If someone asks to work in, let them work in.

That's it for now.

Facebook Manners And You

These peeps have it right. Here it is in a nutshell:

1. Don't change your relationship status without consulting the other person.
2. Don't post embarrassing photographs of other people.
3. Be discreet when posting messages on another person's wall.
4. Don't steal other people's friends.
5. Don't start hate groups.

Worth a watch.

Smells like Taint Spirit

O.K. Maybe it's not the best way to start, but it's on my mind:

If you have gas, please avoid group exercise class.

In fact, unless you can pinch your cheeks together like a vice, best to steer clear of the gym altogether.

Mannerz Guy was at BootCamp today and someone kept letting them go. Not subtle ones either. This was biological warfare grade stuff.

Mannerz Guy's advice: stay home or stay clenched.

First things first

O.K., so Mannerz Guy has long had a fascination with manners and the ideal way to act with others. Not that he thinks there is only one way to act. It's just that he always wanted to know the best way. Why? Good question.

Why do manners matter? Rather than seeing manners as the only way to act with others, Mannerz Guy sees it as distinctly different. Mannerz Guy sees manners as:
1. A method to help other people feel comfortable.
2. A way to remove the barriers between human beings sharing a space together.
3. A guide for those of us (I include myself) that struggle with the best way to act in the ever changing landscape of the modern world.

So there it is. And, oh yeah. This isn't a rule book. Mannerz Guy will share his opinion. Feel free to share yours. Maybe together we can find a better way.