Answering your Cell Phone in the Restroom: BAD MANNERZ!

In this helpful educational short, we see our protagonist faced with an embarrassing moment having to contend with a ringing cell phone when otherwise indisposed. Using poor judgment, he answers the phone -- calling attention to himself. Luckily, he keeps the call short and his caller does not hear any flushing or other unfortunate sounds.

Kudos for stall-mate #2 (I call him that because he entered the restroom second and not because of anything else). Stall-mate #2 discreetly returns our protagonist's cell phone when it finds its way into #2's personal space.

RULEZ:

* Never talk on a cell phone in a public (or private, for that matter) restroom.

* If your cell phone rings in a public restroom, turn off the ringer and return to your business at hand.

* If someone else's belongings find their way into your stall, discreetly return the belongings to the originator's personal space.

Good Table Manners: A Cornet Film Classic

Good table manners are the core of a pleasant eating experience. This helpful video from 1951 is timeless. Sure the used car salesman voice and matching Christmas sweaters call into question the veracity of the speaker, but take his advice. It's as American as McDonald's Baked Apple Pie.

MANNERZ GUY APPROVED!

Piggy Parking: NOT APPROVED!

Mannerz Guy has experienced one of the unfortunate acts of inconsideration that happens in Los Angeles -- Piggy Parking. That's when the person who is doing the parking puts their own interests ahead of others.

It seems that when Mannerz Guy arrived home he found his driveway blocked by a purple Honda Civic -- Mannerz Guy can hear your head wheels turning wondering exactly what kind of person would drive a purple Honda Civic? Well, MG cannot tell you, nor will he tell you that the license plate number is 6GKJ067.

It happens in Mannerz Guy's 1920's neighborhood with its narrow streets and narrower driveways. When someone such as Mr. Purple Honda Civic decides to overlap the driveway, it renders the driveway unusable. That is, of course, if one wishes to avoid hitting the car in question. If Mannerz Guy was driving a purple Honda Civic with part of the front fender torn off (such as Mr. Purple Honda Civic), then he may too drive recklessly.

Now, Mannerz Guy was understandably peeved, but he did not react in anger -- unless this blog post counts. He wrote a note asking for care and consideration in the future and that the residents of his house were unable to utilize the parking space. He suggested that they could move the car forward two feet and all would be right as rain.

So here is a simple rule when parking:

* When parking, take care that your automobile does not block the entry or egress of another vehicle.

This simple rule applies not only to the above situation, but many other parking situations both on and off the street. Mannerz Guy is amazed how many people will park in another's spot, park in two spots, park in the handicapped spot without a placard, or simply double parking... and when confronted they all seem to have the same excuse: "I was just going to be a few minutes."

Mannerz Guy has now endured hours of Mr. Purple Honda Civic. If it is still there when morning comes, Mannerz Guy may have to introduce him to his friend, Mr. Tow Truck.

Voicemail Messages

Now Mannerz Guy knows that many of you are aversive to exercising your vocal chords any more than you have to, especially when you have perfectly good thumbs to communicate your idle thoughts without the threat of an immediate emotional response. But, for those of you who still use the cell phone (and, heaven forbid, a land line... look it up) to call, here is one rule when leaving a message:

1. When leaving a voicemail message, please leave your call-back number (even if you believe the other person has it).

Why? Because Mannerz Guy thinks it is a good idea to remove barriers to communication. One barrier is having to rifle through an electronic address book (the new iPhone software had better have an update for their phone book that slows down anyone with more than 100 contacts.. but Mannerz Guy digresses). Leave it once for familiar acquaintances, leave it twice for clarity if the other person is a business contact or new acquaintance.

This is especially important if you have one of those numbers that do not show up on Caller ID. Mannerz Guy won't say who you are, but one wonders why you do not wish to show your number when calling the number of another. Mannerz Guy strongly suspects you may be having more fun than your partner knows about. But, again with the digressions! So, even if you do have a number that shows on Caller ID, leave your number one time for good measure as the person received the messages may be picking them up from another location.

Now, I know that all of you BFF's are rolling your eyes and giving attitude to the Mannerz Guy site because there are some people you call so much that they know your number by heart. Obviously, different rules apply for the overly-familiar. Mannerz Guy doesn't leave his number for his mother or those with whom he shares his bed. But then, these are also the same people with whom you may complain about your intestinal issues and your doubts about your self-worth. Again, different rules apply for the overly-familiar.

Business meetings and Blackberries don't mix

Heaven knows, Mannerz Guy has loved his smart phones since his Samsung i330. He also knows the pleasure of being able to check his emails for updates... and, well, just dates. But, the smartphone craze has lead to some of the rudest interpersonal behavior by some of the nicest people.

Since Mannerz Guy could spend pages just explaining the obvious, such as never using your phone (including text, email, picture taking, etc.) in a movie theater or, especially live theater, he will not.

He will give only one rule:

1. When someone or something (such as a movie, play, conversation, or oddly enough, YOUR JOB) is supposed to have your attention, give all of your attention to that person or thing.

Now Mannerz Guy knows you are breaking into a cold sweat thinking about going for entire hours (or twos) without electronic contact. He knows they call them "Crackberries" for a reason. And, just so you don't think I am making this up because no one has YET complained about your unseemly behavior, check out this article: Bad e-manners can cost you.

I am certain I will be spending oodles of time explaining the ins and outs of this, but it all goes back to that one simple rule. If you do, people will think you are the most wonderful and considerate person. Mannerz Guy is quite sure you will get job promotions, sex, and the seemingly unattainable approval of your mother. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make...

Lakers Riot: NOT APPROVED!

SEE LA TIMES ARTICLE

Needless to say, Mannerz Guy does not approve. Does anyone?
Nonetheless, this is how some people chose to celebrate the National Championship of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Rules for Reveling -- what not to do:

1. Never vandalize, even if you are happy.
2. Never loot, even if you are celebrating.
3. Never riot, even if you are thrilled.

Rules for Reveling -- what to do:

1. Buy a round of drinks for the house.
2. Smile, sing, jump up and down, and share your joy with others.
3. If vandalism, looting, and rioting are in your blood, stick to your own legal property (that way YOU can clean up the mess).

Now Mannerz Guy realizes the irony of his earlier post about the politeness of the Queer peeps on L.A. Pride (the exact same day as the Lakers Riot). Also that L.A. Pride this year marked the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York City. But, remember, the situation was a tad different. Rather than celebrating the winning of an annual contest by a sports team, these bar patrons were resisting harassment (including arrest) by law enforcement that had become a nearly nightly occurrence at local gay bars simply because they were assumed to be gay. This resulted in a civil rights revolt for the gay community. For more info, check this out on the Wiki: Stonewall Inn Riots.

Arranging a Buffet

Mannerz Guy believes the word "HOST" is a combination of the words "Whore" (HO) and "Saint" (ST).

Yo go, June bug!